Evelina

December 17, 2014 • Leave a Comment

When someone tagged me in Jenifer's sweet post on facebook looking for a photographer, I knew right away I wanted to offer my time to help. My heart ached reading her words and I wanted nothing more than to somehow comfort this stranger who had touched my soul with her story. Jenifer and her boyfriend Ariel lost their baby girl Evelina unexpectedly and their world was shattered that day. After meeting them and spending the session capturing sweet moments as they held their daughters things and comforted each other, I was changed. Their strength is awe inspiring and I swear their love multiplied with each image I snapped. Below is her story that she sent me so I could share with all of you. I encourage you to read it and look at the images at the end. Please send love and prayers to these two and their family. I know that most everyone has lost someone in their life and this time around the holidays makes you yearn to be with them one last time. God bless you Jenifer and Ariel for sharing your story and allowing me to capture these moments in time.

--------------------------------------------------below is written by Jenifer------------------------------------------------------------

"It’s almost been two weeks since we lost our little angel. She was a beautiful surprise in our life, and we never once imagined that we would have to say goodbye.

This life changing event all began right after our high school graduation. My boyfriend and I are both only eighteen, and I had taken a pregnancy test the first week of July, which was exactly one month after we graduated. We had gotten two negatives and thought, “Oh good, we’re safe”, and just assumed I was late. Another week passed and still nothing. We went to the store and bought another brand, and we had two positives. That moment was terrifying, as it would be for anyone our age, or anyone who just isn’t ready. It was bittersweet, because as terrified as we were, as the weeks passed, we became excited and it was all we talked about. We hid the pregnancy from our parents for almost two months, because not only were we afraid to get in trouble with them and disappoint them, but we didn’t want to have a miscarriage before the three month mark everyone worries about. We told my boyfriend’s mom and step dad first. They were surprisingly very supportive, shocked to say the least, but supportive. And I remember telling his mom I was so scared my mom would want to kick me out or not want to talk to me if I told her, but I didn’t even have to tell my mom, because she found out on her own. I had left prenatal vitamins in my bedroom, and she had found them on the floor when I wasn’t home. We had a huge talk that night when I came home from work, and as upset as she was, she told me she would be there for me and still loves me the same as she did before.

Over time, everyone found out in our families, and everyone became so excited to meet our little baby. We found out at about fifteen weeks we would be having a little girl, and that’s when we decided we would name her Evelina. My boyfriend helped me every step of the way, going to every single appointment and ultrasound that I had, we bought every cute baby item for girls we would pass by in the store, and we became even more inseparable than we already were. We were just so excited because we had passed that scary three month mark where miscarriages are so common, so we truly believed that we were one hundred percent safe, and that our baby girl was on her way into our lives.

At nineteen weeks along, I had an ultrasound at my doctor’s office to check on the baby’s measurements; she was absolutely perfect. In fact, everything was perfect according to the doctors. My blood tests all came back perfect, the baby was perfect size, and everything about her was coming along exactly as they would hope any baby would. We were almost halfway! It was just becoming the most exciting and special experience for us. I felt all the kicks at this point, and my belly was growing every week, and I adored that baby every moment that she was a part of me.

At twenty-one weeks along, I had a regular checkup appointment with my doctor, just to hear the baby’s heartbeat and ask any questions I had and discuss the measurements the ultrasound tech had done a few weeks ago. Her heartbeat was great, and he just told us how great everything was coming along. It was a very quick appointment. It was only two days after that appointment that everything began to go wrong.

I was staying with my boyfriend’s family and I woke up at one in the morning with really bad cramps. I just thought to myself that it must be the round ligament pains from my uterus stretching to accommodate the growing baby, so I went back to sleep. I started to wake up every hour after that, and finally at six in the morning, I woke up crying in pain and woke my boyfriend to take me to urgent care. We arrived and they had told us that they can’t help us with any prenatal care, and that I should wait for my doctor’s office to open and give them a call. So I did just that. I got a hold of a doctor after about an hour on the phone, and she told me I was having contractions and needed to go to the emergency room to be hooked up to a machine to stop the contractions. We rushed on over the hospital that I was arranged to deliver my baby when the time came, and they checked us into a room within a few minutes. Once I was hooked up to the machine, they could see all of the contractions and monitored the baby’s heartbeat. They said everything looked fine, and they would just give me a shot to stop the contractions and send me on home. Within forty-five minutes I was released, so my boyfriend and I went on to have breakfast at Denny’s across the street and everything seemed fine. My stomach felt crampy still, but thankfully I was no longer having contractions.

Three hours after we left the hospital, we were relaxing and watching TV at his house, when the contractions came back. Yet again, I was crying in pain so we rushed right back to the hospital, and there I was, checked into another room and hooked up to the same machine. The baby’s heart rate stayed calm and healthy, even when I was in agonizing pain. The nurses started to give me the same shot from earlier, but it wasn’t working. They gave me that same shot three times that day, before moving on to other medication. My doctor wasn’t reachable all day, but that doctor I had talked to on the phone that day was there. She told me there were five medications that they could give me, starting with the shot they gave me three times. That’s when they hooked me up to an IV in order to keep me hydrated. Then they moved on to pills, that didn’t work either and the contractions were still very painful and consistent. The doctor examined me and ordered an ultrasound and blood tests. I was able to see my beautiful baby, and it even looked like she was waving at us. It made the whole ordeal so much less painful, and so worth it. At that moment, the ultrasound tech and nurses told me that the baby was safe. One of the nurses I had taking care of me, even reassured me by saying the same thing had happened to her, and that they were able to stop the contractions and she continued on with a healthy pregnancy. We felt relieved the baby was safe, but I was still in pain and they weren’t sure why.

The doctor finally came back with the ultrasound and blood test results, and she thought I may have appendicitis and that’s what could be causing all the pain. That’s when we all began freaking out and asking if surgery for appendicitis is safe when pregnant, and she said that it has happened before and it is safe, not to worry. As they continued to check for appendicitis, they realized that was not the problem. So we were back to square one. That’s when I finally had my first ever, shot in my butt! I had two of those that night, and they were very painful. Then I had another blood test, shots in my arm, pain medicine in my IV.. It just went on all night long and I just remember being drugged out and not being able to sleep from all the pain. Not one medication stopped the contractions, and no one could figure out why.

The next morning around eight a.m., they told me I would be taken by ambulance to the next hospital about fifteen minutes away to get an MRI, and that I would have to go alone. It was the hardest thing to hold my breath every few seconds for the MRI tech as I was having contractions, and it was scary to be in another hospital without my family or my boyfriend there with me in case something were to happen while I was there. After the MRI, I was transferred back to the previous hospital, put in a different room and was just given magnesium in my IV. The contractions were worsening as the day went on, and boy was I hungry and thirsty! I was still not allowed to eat or drink since breakfast the day before, in case I had to be rushed into a surgery at any moment during my stay in the hospital.

Finally around noon that day, my doctor showed up. He examined me, and told me I was three centimeters dilated. They couldn’t do anything more to stop the baby from coming. I was so confused how that had even happened. Why was my baby coming already? Wasn’t that what the medicine was supposed to be doing? Stopping the contraction and preventing premature labor and delivery? Then the doctor came to my side, and he told me, “I’m sorry, but your baby is not going to survive, she is too young and not viable yet. We will do what we can, but there is little to no chance she is going to make it.” I started crying uncontrollably. My whole life had just turned upside down. She was perfect on the ultrasound last night, and all day she’s been kicking and her hearts been beating, so how could I be losing her now? It was just my boyfriend and I in the room at that moment, and we just cried together. I called my parents and his, and told them the baby isn’t going to make it, and they all rushed over to the hospital and made it in time for the birth.

On Thursday, November 6^th, 2014 at 1:10 p.m., I gave birth to my beautiful twelve oz. angel. She was the most gorgeous baby I have ever seen in my entire life. She looked just like her father, but with my lips. She had his funny, but very cute pigeon toed legs, his button nose, and his cheeks. I held her for hours; I just couldn’t let her go. She was everything I could have dreamed of. She looked so peaceful and happy, and at that moment, I just thought to myself, she has to be with God if she’s smiling like that.

I was sent home later that night, towards midnight. I was still in shock at that time, and out of tears. I went home to rest and finally eat. And I don’t think it truly hit me for a few days that I was no longer carrying my baby girl in my stomach anymore, but now in my heart. Then I started crying a few times a day. Whenever I walked past her room, her things, anytime I saw a baby, a pregnant lady; anything that reminded me of her, it made me hurt. And it still does. It makes me cry to even type up her story. The worst part is that it will forever be unexplained why she isn’t with us here on earth. The doctors have absolutely no explanation as to why she was born so early. There was nothing they could find wrong in my body, or hers. All I know is, she is our angel, and she will be forever, until we get to join her in heaven."